Questioning your own faith.

I have known The Lord my whole life, I have never ever doubted His existence, but a couple of weeks ago I found myself wondering about my salvation and also doubting my own faith in The Lord. There is a Bible verse that says: "if you believe in your heart, and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father, you will be saved." When pondering what Lord means, I realised that though I know what Lord means, and what implication that has to my life, I have never made Jesus Christ The Lord of my life. For days I knew and believed in Gods existence, belief in His Words, and yet I could not surrender my life to Him. I have given lots of things to The Lord in the past, almost everything, I have always had a tendency to ask for much from God, but not give back to Him in return, and this time, I realised I have not given Him Lordship over my life. Even though it has always been His from before time, I have now given Him full Lordship over my life, and I love to serve Him.

Head Knowledge vs Heart Knowledge

Tonight, I have realised how important it is to "Love The Lord your God with ALL YOUR HEART...", I have been brought up in a Christian Household all my life. My awesome memory has led to others in my family thinking that my heart has been fully focused on God, truthfully, it has not. Tonight I even wondered if I had truly made the decision to become a Christian at all in the past. Has it all been just lip service? Has it all been just a superficial knowledge and attempt to live the life that has been mapped out for me since day one? Honestly I don't have an answer to any of these questions, all I know is that tonight I used my heart to dedicate every part of myself and my life to God. I do not think I could possibly explain what led me to this decision, except the fact that I was at church, and something that the pastor said finally hit home! I am convinced that every person has a different scenario, and a unique experience that hits their heart, and makes them realise who God is, and who He can be and is to them. There is a huge decision that I have to make in the next 6-8 months, at least I know now that I am not alone, God is in charge, and I trust Him fully to change what He needs to change in me, according wholly to His will. Can I just say, I needed to assess who I was in Christ tonight, and its up to you to see where your walk is with Him, but YOU NEED TO MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE that you know God in your HEART and not just your MIND. Good luck!

Love in all things

This is a sequel (in a way) to "The Man You Love" post...

As Christians, from the time we are in almost our first years of Sunday school, we are taught about love. The famous story comes to mind about the Disciples asking Christ "what is the most important commandment of all?":
Matthew 22:36-40

36 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”
 37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

So loving God is foremost in all things! Can I say though, if you love someone, you will do everything you can to please them?
If this is the case, then this calls for a serious heart response! If God is our "first love" then our lives should reflect our devotion to Him, we should continue to try and make our relationship grow in Him for the rest of our lives! You cannot say you love someone if you take the gift they give you and ignor them from then onwards! Growing in God takes a full lifetime! Our love for Him should grow every day, just like an earthly relationship. Another thing also, as a female it must be somewhat easier for us in someways to realise that God is in control of all things than guys. I think our problem can be relinquishing control when we assume we can do things so much better than Him. So the point I am making is, how can you love God if you can't TRUST Him and the fact that He is truly in control, whether you give it to Him or not. I personally struggle with the control factor, that is for sure!

Now to move on to the SECOND most important commandment:
How can we love our neighbors as ourselves? Well for one thing, we look after ourselves every morning! We groom ourselves everyday, and we become presentable, and refreshed, getting rid of all the dirt and things that marr our ability to leave the bathroom. So I suppose you could say, every day your relationships are to be renewed and worked on! I think we would all agree that beauty takes time effort and grooming, wouldn't you? So for our relationships to stay beautiful, we need to groom it!

If we hurt ourselves we will generally disinfect the area to prevent an infection. Why? Infections can kill! Hurts, anger, and any negative emotions in a relationship need to also be disinfected, as they can kill our relationship with others!
Disinfectant only works for a short time after the injury is incurred, as it then can go straight to our blood stream and cause harm. Just like if hurts and all other negative emotions in a relationship need to be cleared up straight away, or else the infection will set in!

Patience, Peace, Kindness, Gentleness, and Self-Control all can basically come under the banner of love. If you have love, you also have these fruits in a package, and all are essential in a relationship. Relationships are not necessarily just our boyfriend/girlfriends, it includes EVERYONE we know, all our friends and family. God wishes that even the people we dislike, that we will love.

One of the problems faced in relationships is lack of communication, and it has to be fixed straight away or else it can ruin our relationships. In the "Bad Communication" label also comes the "too much communication" with people around us about our relationship. If we feel we can't communicate with the person in question, we may talk to others unecessarily about our problems with said person. This effectively shows a lack of love. Patience and self control come into the picture now in this situation as no negative comment about any body else should EVER cross our lips to someone else altogether.

We need to learn to wait on God when these times seem unbearable, and rest in His peace.

God wants us to be like the moon... He knows that we are just a big rock stuck in our own part of the universe, cratered and blemished, holding no beauty of our own. The thing is though, God is like the Sun!! His light shines on us, we are supposed to reflect it, and then we are no longer seen as our sinful selves, but instead, we will shine the light of God, in all things, and we can light up the dark with the light and love of Christ!

Provision...

I dont know if you have ever felt this way, but life can be a whirlwind of events and emotions, it can have every aspect of you involved completely in the motions. At times we can be so caught up in how our life is going, the people, the things you want to do, the studying, the GOALS, we forget at times our purpose, and the biggest thing we do:

Remembering that The Lord guides, and where He guides He Provides.

I am a planner, I think, and plan, and shape my life around what I want to do, and also how I feel. I forget sometimes to think about where my purpose lies, I forget to take a step back from everyday life and try and find the real reason for why I do what I do.

Unfortunately, even after all the learning and molding, and shaping The Lord has done in my life since the period of which I wrote the Selfishness article, I still revert at times back to my forgetfulness.

Well any way, of late there has been some huge things happening in my life, the showing of God's interention yet again! Life seemed stagnant for me for so long! I was doing the same thing for three years, I havent had much social life, or anything over the last few years... And then with a mighty BANG my life has become busy, with friends and studies, and planning for my future studies, and doing a lot of thinking about the future.

I am finding the Blessings pouring onto me at the moment, but I am also finding the struggles as well. I have basically decided to move away from everyone I have ever known and loved for university, with the knowledge that I may not ever live in Australia again, I may never have the relationship with my family that I have always cherished. At the same time though, I feel the Lords hand in this, I feel like I am doing right by going where He is sending me, but I am scared, I am excited, my life is going to be changing completely in the next 5 months, but even now gradually it is changing.

My personality hates changes, especially life altering ones! But one of my Patients walked into work the other day (she is a Christian also) and she said to me:

"Eish, Honey, when I was a young lady like you, my mother said this to me: "'Where The Lord guides, The Lord Provides'"" and it struck my heart! I am in this world for God's glory, not my own satisfaction, and when I gave Him my heart, I told Him that everything I am is His. Any where God tells me to go, I will go, anything He tells me to do, I will do. This is a hard concept to grasp, to follow through on, to even consider where God wishes me to go in the future, but I rest in His promises.

Isiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.



Matthew 28:20

Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.



Romans 8:35

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?



Romans 8:38-39

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.





I am resting in these above promises, it is going to be the hardest thing I ever do in my life leaving all those of whom I love behind, but I believe the words that this very popular verse in Phillipians says: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. As a woman, I must rest more so on the provision of El Shaddai (God Almighty) to help me through this time. My eternal Promise to God is:

I will your vessel Lord! I will go where you tell me to go, I will say what you put in my heart to say, and I will do my best to continue on in my Faith as fast as you lead me to go. I devote the life you have given to me, to you Father. Guide me where you wish. Amen


I dont know if you are facing a time similar to me at the moment, or if you will in future, but if I have learnt anything recently, its the fact that we are to continue doing what the Lord wishes, no matter how hard it is.

You are a gift...

My little sister went to a kids club on this holiday her, my family and myself were on. The kids went to a place that was used as a night club, to have a disco, soft drink from the bar etc. My parents did not realise this had happened and so therefore she went along and watched an amateur night club scene, the kids being ages 11-17.

When we came to pick her up, we watched all these children flaunting their bodies, trying to get the opposite sex's attention, and it would be an understatement to say that we were shocked. I think the hardest part of the whole night was trying to explain to her why we don't agree with the whole night club scene, especially not for her age.

I did however hit upon inspiration in my own mind. I said to my little sister:
"*Katie, you are like a gift, a treasure chest even. You are full of beautiful individual treasures all wrapped up in this gift. This gift, being you, is for your future husband only. God made Adam, and then he made Eve to be his helper, you are the Eve to an Adam, you have been made for one man. When girls flaunt their bodies, they are trying to get some guys attention, meaning that the guys gifts are not kept intact for his Eve. And if you have many different boyfriends, you will always leave a part of your heart and therefore one of your smaller gifts with those guys. Eventually, when you find the man The Lord has in store for you, you are missing a large percentage of your gifts away, and your husband gets an incomplete package."

"Remember that you are a beautiful gift from God to your future husband, and it is the best thing of all to be able to give all of yourself to him."

It may not bode well with even some Christians, but please don't think I am being judgmental, each to His own, and I pray that if you are a young girl, think really long and hard about who you give parts of yourself to, and also making sure you preserve others as best you can as well, If they are not your man or woman, you have no right to take any of their gifts, you are depriving someone else of something that I am sure you would want yourself.

You are special, a beautiful/handsome creation of God, Please never think that you are any less than this when you go into relationships.

Me, Myself and I

Well I guess yu could say that this is like the sequel to my last blog "Selfishness". I said a bit in there about serving others, but I wonder if you wonder "how do I do this?"

Well, here are some bible verses on serving that could help:
Romans 12:11
11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

Deuteronomy 13:4
4 It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.

Galations 5:13
13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.

1 Peter 4:10
10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.

Joshua 22:5
But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to obey his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul."

1 Samuel 12:24
24 But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.

Mark 10:45
45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."


We as Christians Have been CALLED to Serve, to use the Gifts he has Given us for his Kingdom. Serving is meant to be from your heart, you are meant to do it from LOVE, not because you have to but for two reasons:

1. Because you Love The Lord your God, and wish to serve and please him &
2. Because the love that God has poured out on you, you want to pour out further onto others.

What better witness is this?

So this is all well and good but How do I serve? well my gifts are to be an exhorter (encourager), as a server next, and thirdly to be an administrator.
I have a wonderful role in the body of Christ, I help to encourage those around me. I serve next, I am the sort to do communion on a sunday, or clean the church, something that others do not see, and then lastly an administrator, I help to organise things, like events for the young ads.

So it is all very well that I have these gifts, but I know that you have your own that are just as special. WE are ALL meant to be a valuable part of the Body of Christ. And if you do not use these gifts for the Lord, and instead ignore what the Lord has given you, then as it says in 2 Peter 1:5-10 you are unproductive as a christian and have forgotten that you were saved.

You see not only is your gift used for the benefit of the Lord, but also for expanding His Kingdom. When the Gifts are used properly, it is a wonderful witness to those who do not know The Lord, and an Awesome encouragement to those already in the church to continue with their gifts as well.

You are not on this earth for nothing! You would not be here if you were worth nothing!

I do not know if you feel unproductive, I dont know if you are serving to please people and not God. If you need to feel that joy that you felt when you were burning for Christ in the beginning of your walk, then look to God for strength! You were, like me, not created to be selfish, but to fulfill your purpose on this earth! I pray that you will feel blessed to have this purpose, that you will feel the want to pour love out on others, then you may Serve the Lord with all your heart and soul.

God is in control

I remember learning about the little Children who Jesus Christ took upon his lap, and what he said:

2 Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, 3 and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.

and I remember thinking, ok that is fine, I will stay like a child. Well, as I got older, I wanted to know more, I want to know the ins and outs of how everything works; and though I never doubted that God lives, I became curious to know answers that did not need answering. I am not saying that it is bad to want to know, but sometimes I just need to rmember that no matter what I do or do not understand I just need to remember that God is God, and he is in control.

My life is given into His hands, and no matter what I have to trust him like a little child, with EVERY aspect of my life. Sometimes I try and take over, and it goes all wrong.

I dont know if you ever like to take the reigns back from the Lords control, whether sometimes you find that it is hard to trust that his Will is best, but there is something I always find helps: I look up at the stars at night and think to myself,"if God created such an amazingly beautiful universe, and orchestrated and was in control of so many lives that we hear about in the Bible. How can I go wrong with God in control?"

And that is when the verse that says "be still and know I am God comes to mind."

Do you take the reigns from God? Have you given them to God at all? even if you havent, The Lord weeves your choices into his master tapestry.